


That Ship Has Sailed

by redrobinfection (ChristmasRivers)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Exhaustion, Fluff, Food Poisoning, Halloween, Haunted Houses, Jack-o'-lanterns, M/M, Mooning, Naked Cuddling, Non-Explicit Sex, Nudity, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pumpkins, Semi-explicit sex, Sick Character, Sickfic, Silly, Teen Crush, Vomiting, or in this cause a haunted woods walk?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-11-24 12:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristmasRivers/pseuds/redrobinfection
Summary: A collection of short shipping drabbles (Batfam-centric) originally posted on my tumblr.NEWSpooktober Day 22 "Full Moon" (JayDick) - Dick likes to wander his and Jason's apartment completely in the buff... but only when no one is around to catch him in the act! Jason is bound and determined to see Dick's "full moon" rise in the clear light of day, at leastonce.





	1. Spooktober Day 3 "Zombie" (JayTim)

Jason stopped, pulled off his hood and pinned Red Robin with a serious expression. “Okay, Red. You’re beyond delirious. You’re practically sleepwalking. Go home.”

“Nuuuuuuuuuu…”

Jason reached out to grab him, but the smaller vigilante slipped past him with all the grace of a floppy noodle. He chased Red toward the edge of the building, wincing as he watched him stumble over his own feet, twice, and barely avoid running face first into a antenna tower along the way.

“Red, I’m serious, man. Last week it was that ‘sunset’ thing, and now this?”

“But I hafta finish this one thing an’-”

Red cut off with an ‘oof’ as Jason caught him, wrapping both arms around Red tightly to trap his arms to his sides. He expected Red to fight the hold, but instead he experienced a pang of alarm as he felt the smaller man instantly begin to slump in his arms. He slowly lowered them both the ground. Red went completely limp in his grasp, and only then did it occur to Jason to double check that he wasn’t injured on top of everything else.

“Hey, T, talk to me, bud. I’m going to lower your cowl for a second, okay?” He gently pulled off the cowl and pulled out his penlight. Tim looked dazed and the bags under his eyes were epic, but his pupils reacted quickly and symmetrically to light, so that ruled out a head injury. It worried him a little that Tim didn’t struggle or wince in protest to the bright light. “Hey, kid, you hurt anywhere?”

Tim groaned and made a half-hearted attempt to roll out of his lap, but didn’t respond.

“Tim, man, you need to speak up. I’m really starting to worry about you. If you don’t tell me in words, then I’m gonna drag your ass down to Alfred so the diagnostic equipment in the Cave can tell us instead.”

“Nooooo, no caaaave.”

“Then tell me where it hurts, you doofus.”

Tim finally looked up at him and shook his head slowly. “Not hurt, not really. Ribs. Ankle. Bumps. Usual stuff. Can’t worry. Can’t stop. Just gotta…” In a last desperate surge of energy he threw himself out of Jason’s grasp, rose unsteadily to his feet, and began dragging himself back to the edge.

Jason rose slowly, shaking his head. Tim was dragging one foot limply, his arms half raised with his grapple dangling precariously from his fingers, his head bent over as he panted in exertion. “I’m calling bullshit on that, T. You can barely move.”

“Doesn’ matter. Gotta finish this… gotta…”

Jason easily overtook him and planted himself in Tim’s path. The slack, half-lidded expression on Tim’s face completed the look.

“Tim, you look like a zombie, an actual fucking zombie.”

Tim didn’t even have the energy to glare at him. He looked up at Jason with a slack expression. “Takes one t’ know one,” he mumbled. He reached behind him for his cowl before it registered that he held the grappler in that hand. He blinked at it in confusion then slowly reached back with the other.

Jason huffed a laugh and shook his head. “You know it.” He took pity on the befuddled man and helped him pull the cowl back over his face. “Now, come on we’re having a zombie club meeting at your apartment, in your bed, right now.”

“Nope. Can’t. See you next week?”

“Wrong answer. I think you meant ‘can’ and 'will’,” Jason teased as he crouched down, grabbed a leg, then grabbed the arm on the same side. Tim squawked in alarm and struggled briefly, but went limp as Jason pulled him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “Now don’t fight me or I might drop you mid-swing.”

Tim grumbled something unintelligible over his shoulder and wriggled slightly.

“What was that, Timbo.”

“I said you better not drop me or I won’t share my bed with you.”

“Oh no, but then how will us zombies ever rest in peace?”

“Ugh,” Tim groaned and swatted at Jason’s backside weakly with his free hand. “That was awful, Jay. Dick would be proud.”

Jason chuckled. “You know you love it, T.”

“I love you. Now take me home, if that’s what you’re gonna do.”

“Aye, aye, Zomb-tee!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last year [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) created a casual writing event on tumblr as part of their Write 365 challenge which they entitled “Spooktober” ~ The event consisted of thirty-one one-word writing prompts for the month of October themed around Halloween.
> 
> I, in my boundless writing ambition, began writing along with SAF on their prompts (the original list of those can be found [here](https://sociallyawkwardfoxwriter.tumblr.com/spooktober)), but two weeks into my endeavor the reality of taking the most difficult computer science course in my program (Operating Systems, fyi) that term set in and was forced to abandon my plans and WIPs. 
> 
> So, this year, I thought, why not go back and pick up where I left off? On Ao3, this means posting all of the drabbles I posted to tumblr last year along with all the new ones I write for this year :D
> 
> Some of those drabbles will involve romantic ships, others will not. As a rule, I don't post shipping fics to my generic drabble compilation work, [_"Except For Everything, I'm Perfectly Fine"_](), hence the creation of this new fic. Be on the lookout for many more shippy Spooktober fills to come!
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/188119546711/3-zombie). Thanks for reading!


	2. Spooktober Day 4 "Disappearance" (JayTim)

Jason makes his first public appearance since his death at one of the Wayne-hosted galas, per Bruce’s request, so as to allow the family to properly mark the occasion of his (legal) resurrection. It's awful, naturally. 

He spends an hour thoroughly hating himself for agreeing to this sham, but then he spots Tim from across the room, schmoozing it up like the good little Drake-Wayne heir he is.

Jason tries to cut his way across the ballroom to Tim, but by the time he gets there Tim is gone. He looks everywhere, until, finally, Alfred takes pity upon him and asks him to "look in on the kitchen, please, to make sure all is well."

It’s an odd request, but once there, he finds Tim lounging in the breakfast nook, bow tie undone, dress shirt unbuttoned, undershirt untucked, and tuxedo coat tossed aside.

"I see you made an appearance tonight," Tim observes, raking his eyes over Jason's tux clad body with a suave grin.

"I see you made a _disappearance_ tonight," Jason shoots back drily, affecting a look of disapproval.

Tim laughs.

Jason shakes his head and sits down. "But seriously, man, you're like a ghost: there one second, gone the next."

"Sometimes a guy's just gotta ghost down to the kitchen for some milk and cookies, y' know? You want some?" Tim pushes a plate of Alfred’s cookies toward him.

Jason makes a face. "Milk and cookies? What are we? Four?"

Tim makes a face right back at him. "Ugh. I'd rather be four and tucked away at the kid’s table with cookies than out there schmoozing until my brain rots while sipping the driest champagne ever bottled."

"Bruce _does_ like it dry," Jason admitted slowly. "And… ugh, same. Okay, send some of those cookies my way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last year [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) created a casual writing event on tumblr as part of their Write 365 challenge which they entitled “Spooktober” ~ The event consisted of thirty-one one-word writing prompts for the month of October themed around Halloween.
> 
> I, in my boundless writing ambition, began writing along with SAF on their prompts (the original list of those can be found [here](https://sociallyawkwardfoxwriter.tumblr.com/spooktober)), but two weeks into my endeavor the reality of taking the most difficult computer science course in my program (Operating Systems, fyi) that term set in and was forced to abandon my plans and WIPs. 
> 
> So, this year, I thought, why not go back and pick up where I left off? On Ao3, this means posting all of the drabbles I posted to tumblr last year along with all the new ones I write for this year :D
> 
> Some of those drabbles will involve romantic ships, others will not. As a rule, I don't post shipping fics to my generic drabble compilation work, [_"Except For Everything, I'm Perfectly Fine"_](), hence the creation of this new fic. Be on the lookout for many more shippy Spooktober fills to come!
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/188140149988/4-disappearance). Thanks for reading!


	3. Spooktober Day 7 "Ritual" (JayTim)

Tim Drake has a post-patrol ritual. First, he strips out of his suit. Cowl first, then the gauntlets, then his boots. The cape and armored outer suit next.

He wears his underthings into the bathing area, where he strips out of the last bits and folds everything neatly into a pile - first the outer suit, then the liners, then the cape, then the cowl and the gauntlets on top. He takes a shower in no fewer than ten and no more than fifteen minutes. He dries off, changes, and spends no more than five minutes procuring coffee and maybe a small snack if Alfred is involved.

Then he goes to write reports - addressing each incident and case in chronological order - until he finishes all of them, no exceptions, only after which will he allow himself to stumble off to bed to sleep a few hours before the sun rises.

Simple. Efficient. His ritual gets him through many long nights, giving him a sense of regularity and near-normalcy in a lifestyle that is anything but. He clings to the consistency of his schedule for dear life sometimes.

Then Jason Todd comes into the picture.

Jason has no part in the ritual, wants no part in the ritual, and stubbornly refuses to be incorporated into the ritual even when Tim insists.

Sometimes Jason shows up after patrol, sometimes he doesn’t. Inconsistent. That on its own, the state of uncertainty on whether to prepare for Jason’s presence, is disruptive.

Then when he _does _show up, his interruptions shoot Tim’s ritual through with holes as well as if he’d pulled his guns on them. That’s okay, he can cope, Tim tells himself. But then Jason starts showing up nearly every night. Now every night is a new, undefined struggle and Tim mourns the loss of his structured, dependable post-patrol time.

There are so many nights that Jason interrupts his routine, but there are a few that stick out to him, even years later…

—

The first memorable night is the first time Jason ambushes him while he’s writing reports - at 4:30 am, of course - and insists that he go to bed.

Tim refuses, so Jason drags him to bed and watches until he falls asleep. Tim is annoyed, but he works it into his future rituals.

“Okay, fine, well, you can drag me to bed, but only if I’m not already there by 5am.” Jason ignores him, and the next time he drags Tim to bed–before 5am, mind you–he keeps him in bed by force of cuddling.

—

The next moment that sticks out happens a week later, when Jason sneaks into Tim’s Perch while he is getting his pre-report coffee.

Jason snatches the coffee away from him, dumps it down the drain, and tells him to sit his ass down at the kitchen table.

Tim fumes. Anything, _anything_ but the coffee.

“Don’t even start with me, Timbo. We both know you haven’t eaten a decent meal since we went to lunch two days ago, so save the drama and just eat something before you chug your next coffee.”

The late (early?) breakfast Jason makes for them is out-of-this-world delicious, especially after days of granola bars and meat jerky. That annoys Tim to no end. He doesn’t have the time to eat such a big meal. He can’t afford to feel this full, contented, and sleepy right now. Why can’t Jason see that and just leave him alone?

He makes Tim a new mug of coffee and drags him to the couch where they watch old Star Trek re-runs until he falls asleep on Jason’s shoulder. Tim wants to be angry the next day, but he feels so good after a full meal and a good night’s sleep that he has a hard time working himself into a bad mood, even thinking about all the reports he’ll have to catch up on later.

—

The final straw comes a few weeks later, when Jason comes in with him after patrol, but instead of letting Tim strip out of his suit, Jason strips it himself.

He does it all wrong–he gets the cowl off first, yes, but then he goes for the cape, distracting Tim with his mouth. He kisses Tim thoroughly then drags his lips down the skin of Tim’s neck. When he reaches Tim’s throat he attacks the zipper that runs down the front of the Red Robin suit - _wrong, wrong, wrong!_ \- and continues trailing his lips down Tim’s newly exposed chest - making Tim shiver in anticipation.

He yanks off Tim’s gauntlets, only so that he can peel the suit and the liners off Tim’s chest and arms - _no, no, no, not both together!_ \- and drags them down until he reaches Tim’s jock. He leaves the suit, liners and jock around Tim’s thighs, using them to restrain him as he goes for Tim’s cock right then and there, pinning Tim against the wall.

Jason brings Tim off with his mouth a short minute or two later. Tim moans as his knees go weak, but the moan quickly turns to a groan; he’s not even fully stripped out of his suit and he already wants to melt into a boneless puddle? That’s not how it’s supposed to go, not at all! Jason doesn’t give him the chance to escape, instead pulling the everything down to Tim’s boots to hobble him. He picks Tim up, carries him to the showers, and sets him down on the bench to pull off his boots and suit. He tosses it all aside in a disorganized heap.

Finally freed from his suit and coming down from his post-orgasmic high, Tim seizes his chance at revenge. He jumps up, turns on the water, and soaks Jason in his clothes. Jason laughs as Tim begins tearing the sodden clothes off of him. Jason helps to remove the last of his things just as Tim kneels down to return the ‘favor’ from earlier. He isn’t satisfied, even after he has his 'revenge’, so he traps Jason, teasing his thighs and belly with the searing brush of his lips and teeth until the water runs cold.

They fall into bed an hour later and Tim tops him until they both pass out, exhausted and sated, in each other’s arms. Part of Tim wants to assert that he took back a semblance of control of the situation by taking control of their pleasure at the end, but the next morning he gives up all such notions and welcomes Jason to top him with no hesitation whatsoever, letting go of all desire to “control” anything as he cries out with his and Jason’s release.

—

In the end, Tim gives up on his old ritual. Six weeks of dating Jason teaches him new rituals, and instead of feeling ‘normal’, now he feels _alive_. Six months of dating Jason teaches him that part of being in a relationship is creating new rhythms, new rituals together. Six years later, Jason still keeps him on his toes, reminding him that the best ritual of all is the one of falling in love with something new about your partner - big or small - every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on tumblr for the 2018 Spooktober event (created by [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) as part of their Write 365 challenge).
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/178907930573/7-ritual). Thanks for reading!


	4. Spooktober Day 8 "Haunted Woods" (Tim & Steph)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is tagged for Tim & Steph, but there are also mentions of current StephCass, past StephTim (in parallel to comic canon), and Tim's crushes on Dick and Jason.

Tim picked up his cordless phone, dialed a number, then threw himself across his bed and listened as the phone on the other end rings, feet swinging restlessly off the side. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling fan turning slowly above him.

_"'Yellow?"_

"Hey, Steph, it's me."

_"Oh, hey, Tim,"_ she replied, voice slightly garbled like she might have food in her mouth. _"How'd that haunted house charity thing go?"_

"It wasn't really like a house, it was more like a haunted trail-walk thing in the woods between my house and the Waynes', but, yeah, it, um, went okay, I guess."

_"That's good. Raised lots of money for the shelter?"_

"Yeah, I think it did. More people turned out than we expected."

_"Nice! So did you get to spend time with those two Wayne guys you're crushing on? Penis-name guy and, uh, what's his name? Jay, right? That stand for Jacob?"_

"Jeez, Steph, the older one is Dick, not 'the penis-name guy'--"

_"I dunno, that's close enough."_

"--and his brother is Jason."

_"Ahh, okay, the ‘Jay’ is for Jason."_

Tim rolled his eyes. "Ugh. So... No, I didn’t. Dick and Jay were working the event. They asked all their friends from school and the gymnastics club to come help them play the spooky characters on the trail."

_"Oh, nice. What spooky thing were you?"_

"I was too young to volunteer, so, instead, I, uh, actually ended up test-walking the trail with Damian."

_"Ugh! The demon kid?!"_

"He's not that bad."

_"Did he try to stab you again?"_

"….maybe. Not really. A mechanical pencil doesn't count."

Steph scoffed. _"Like I said: spawn of the devil. I'm surprised they didn't want to use him as cast; he'd be a natural!"_

"Steph, give him a break. He's only, like, ten and he had a messed up childhood, okay? He's getting better."

_"Uh huh...but am I gonna find pencil lead lodged under your skin anywhere if I go looking?"_

Tim grimaced and tried not to look at the dark smudge on his arm. "…He _will_ get better. Just give him time."

_"Okayyyyy, so moving on: how was it? Did you get scared? Pfft. I can't imagine the little demon baby did."_

"No, Damian actually spooked a couple of times, though he tried to play it off as being 'horrified that the performances were so abysmal'; his words, not mine."

_"Sounds about right. What about you, shy guy? You get spooked?"_

"I mean, those woods are pretty eerie at night and it was definitely creepy having people jump out at us, but I wouldn't say any part of it scared me, per se."

_"Mmmmm. So having your two major crushes jump out at you in sexy costumes didn't spook you even a little?"_

Tim's face heated. "Well, uh, I mean… they weren't _sexy_ costumes per se…"

_"Okay, spill it, Timbo. What were they wearing? Did they try to scare you? What did you say to them?"_

"Well, um, Dick was a werewolf and he, uh, I guess tried to jump scare us?"

_"…"_

Tim sighed and sat up on the bed. "He waited until we walked past, jumped out right behind us, and then growled in our faces when we turned around. He made Damian jump, at least. Except...then Damian jumped behind me and kind of pushed me into him, and Dick stepped on my foot then said, in the softest voice imaginable, 'oh, sorry', so, like...I wasn't really ‘scared’, I was just kind of, uhhh, flustered, I guess?"

Stephanie slapped what sounded like a table, or maybe her desk, with what had to have been her open palm. Repeatedly. _"Ahahaha, oh my god, that is **perfect**!"_

"Gee, thanks, Steph," he replied dryly.

_"No, I mean, at least he talked to you right?"_

"I mean if you can count getting stepped on and whispered at?"

_"He got up close and personal with you!"_

Tim sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, sure."

_"Okay, okay, then what about Jason?"_ Steph asks excitedly._ "What happened with him?"_

If Tim's face had been hot before, now it was on fire. "Uhhh…"

_"Oooooo, I sense a story here. Spill it!"_

"Well, I mean, he wasn't really that scary. Damian just kind of just rolled his eyes at him and went on ahead, leaving me there."

Steph squealed. _"Ooooo, so you got some alone time? So what was he? A ghost? A murderer in a hockey mask?"_

"Um. Well. Jason was near the end of the trail, hanging around one of the creeping rose trellises in the Wayne gardens. They set up all these fake flickering candles and hung a ton of these big, long cobwebs from the trellis and then had Jason dress up as a Victorian zombie...or something? He didn't really try to jump out as us or anything. I think he was reading when we walked up? He seemed kinda bored, to be honest.

“And, uh, then my glasses kinda got caught in the cobwebs. Jason pretty much just stood there and watched me try to untangle, while they were still on my face, them for, like, thirty seconds, but it kept getting worse and worse until, finally, he walked up to me, very carefully removed my glasses, untangled them, handed them back and then I pretty much ran away in shame," he finishes lamely, squeezing his eyes closed at the memory.

_"Whaaaaaaat?! Did you say anything? What did he say back?"_

Tim squinted as he tried to remember something beyond the overwhelming embarrassment. "I think I thanked him, maybe? And then he grunted like a zombie and went back to reading. I felt like such a dork."

Steph laughed again. _"Ahahahahahah,Tim, that is just too much. Honey, you felt like a dork because you **are** a dork. The most adorable dork that has ever lived to dork."_

"Why did I call you again? I'm hanging up."

_"Timmmmmy, nooooo. You're adorkable and that is what I love about you. If Dick and Jason have any sense, then they'll love it too. You just gotta put yourself out there and talk to them more often!"_

"Whatever you say, ex-girlfriend."

Steph snapped her fingers, likely trying to point a finger at him through the phone. _"Hey. I'm clearly the most qualified person to be saying this stuff; I know better than anyone how awesome you are."_

Tim raised his eyebrows, unseen, but clearly heard in his tone as he replied, "And that’s why we broke up?"

Tim could hear Steph's responding eye roll in her voice. _"We only broke up because it turned out I'm not bi like you. One of those 'It's not you, it's me' things, right?"_

"Sure."

_"Heeeey, don't get all down on yourself, okay? Here, this is what we'll do: Cass Wayne and I were planning to go see that new horror flick next Friday--"_

"You hate horror movies. I hate horror movies. They freak us out. That was, like, the _one_ thing we always agreed on."

_"Shhhhh, all a part of the plan, Timothy,"_ Steph soothed conspiratorily. _"See, you'll ask Jason if he wants to come on a double date with us and Cass will totally push him into it, and then at the movie I'll pretend to be scared and grab onto Cass and you can pretend to be scared and grab Jason's hand!"_

Tim barked a laugh. "Pretend? Try actual fear."

_"Exactly! We'll actually be scared, so our acting will be totally believable!"_

"Do you even hear yourself?"

_"Come on, it'll be great. We're thinking we'll do an early show to beat the crowds and do a late dinner afterwards to shrug off the lingering creep factor. We were planning on going to that diner you like, the one with the double coffee milkshakes, remember? Whaddya say?"_

Tim grimaced. "I dunno…"

_"Just imagine: cuddling up to Jason Wayne in a dark theater, sharing a shake and fries afterwards. There are two straws, you accidentally mix them up…"_

Tim made a sound of disgust at that horrible cliché of an image. "Okay, okay, stop, fine, I'll do it."

Steph cackled. _"Yessssss, this is gonna be great." _Abruptly her tone went deadly serious. _"You should call Jason right now."_

Tim froze. "Uhhhhh, right now?"

_"Yes, before you chicken out. Actually, I'm gonna hang up and call Cass. We'll call you back in ten minutes and if you still haven't called Jason and asked by then--Cass will know--then I'm gonna make her make him call you."_

"Steph, no…"

_"Then call him!"_

"Okay, okay, I'm hanging up."

_"Yay! Okay, you've got **five** minutes and then I'm siccing Cass on you guys. Good luck!"_

"Wait, you said ten! Steph? Steph?!"

A click and then the dial tone was all that could be heard. Tim flopped over onto his pillow and groaned.

"Well, great. Just… great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is new oneshot, crossposted on tumblr, for my 2019 Spooktober event. (Based on an event originally run by [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) as part of their Write 365 challenge in 2018).
> 
> UPDATE: Edited 2020-10-08, including a tense change (present-->past)
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/188227443940/8-haunted-woods). Thanks for reading!


	5. Spooktober Day 10 "Pumpkins" (JayTim)

“Ah… I hate to say it, Timbo, but I think we might have messed up.”

Tim snorted. Two weeks before Halloween, here they were, he and Jason, tipsily attempting to carve jack-o-lanterns while Ghostbusters played on TV in the background. He wiped his pumpkin gut covered hands sloppily against the plastic sheet they’d laid over his table and took another swig of his pumpkin beer.

“What was your first clue?”

Jason gave him a dirty look and began scooping all of the guts strewn across the table into a pile. “I dunno, maybe the part where I scooped my pumpkin out so zealously that the walls are starting to collapse or the part where, in your attempt to carve an Escher replica, you’ve ended up more holes than pumpkin.”

He grinned. “It’s not Escher, it’s a Piet Mondrian, and at least mine hasn’t collapsed yet.”

“Whatever. In any case, they look like crap.”

Tim sighed and leaned back in his chair, nodding sagely. “Yeah, they do.” He took in the carnage before him and giggled. “This was a total slaughterfest. We _decimated_ these pumpkins.”

Jason shook his head with a pinched expression. “I could have pulled out my guns and emptied a clip on both and it still wouldn’t have caused the level of destruction we’ve achieved. And– _what are you doing!_” he snapped, batting away Tim’s hand. Tim evaded, swaying on the spot dizzily, and plucked again at Jason’s hair.

“You have some pumpkin guts in your hair.”

“Dammit,” Jason growled, swiping his fingers over his scalp angrily. Tim fell back into his seat and laughed as Jason spun on the spot while he combed stringy pumpkin and white seeds out of his hair.

“What’s so damn funny?”

“Y-y'r… y'r hair’s standing on end,” Tim choked out between giggles.

“You should not be this drunk,” Jason told him. “You’ve only had two pumpkin beers and they’re not even that alcoholic!” He rounded the table and started picking strands of pumpkin out of Tim’s clothes and hair. Tim leaned back and smiled up at him.

“Imma lightweight! An’ I’m tired!” he slurred gleefully. The taller man sighed, leaned down to plant a quick kiss on his head, then backed away and considered the table again.

“Well, I’m glad you’re having a good time, at least. Now what are we going to do with this mess?” Jason asked, mostly to himself.

Tim picked idly at the seeds dotting the clump of guts in front of him and asked, “Can’t you eat pumpkin seeds?”

Jason perked up. “Yeah, you have to roast and shell them first but…” he trailed off. He brightened suddenly and snapped his fingers. “I know what we can do!”

“What?”

“I have some pie crusts in the fridge I need to use. I was going to make pot pies, but instead we can make pumpkin pie.”

Tim smiled dreamily. “Mmmm. Good idea. ’S never to early for pumpkin pie!”

Jason smirked and waggled a finger. “Don’t go thinking it’s going to be anything like the Thanksgiving ones - they make those out of special breeds of pumpkin and winter squash - but I’ll make a sweet-savory pie with some sweet potato and carrot blended in.”

“Mmm, sounds good ’t me.”

Jason got to work pulling ingredients and pans out of cupboards while Tim let his eyes drift closed and sagged down into his chair sleepily. The sounds of Jason bustling around the kitchen faded into a pleasant soundtrack that paired nicely with the noise of the movie playing in the background. All sounds grew more and more distant as Tim felt himself start to drift.

“Hey. Wakey, wakey, Mr. Lightweight,” Jason roused him in an enthusiastic voice. He could practically hear Jay’s shit-eating grin. “Can you help me separate the seeds from the pulp?”

Tim huffed a laugh and cracked his eyes. “Well, I’m glad you’re having a good time now, at least,” he teased. Jason shot him that shit-eating grin he was expecting, but began sifting seeds out of the pile in front of Tim. Tim sighed but dragged himself upright in the chair and began to help.

“Well, I’d better make the most of it,” Jason replied. “We’ve still got a whole ‘nother Ghostbusters to watch and half a case of beer to drink.”

"Don’t forget 'bout the new Ghostbusters, too,” Tim reminded him. “I fully expect to be eating pumpkin pie and munching on pumpkin seeds that I wash down with pumpkin beer by the time we start that one.”

Jason laughed. “At this rate you’re going to turn into a pumpkin.”

Tim winked. “At midni- I mean sunrise, didn'tja know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on tumblr for the 2018 Spooktober event (created by [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) as part of their Write 365 challenge).
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/178967153206/10-pumpkins). Thanks for reading!


	6. Spooktober Day 14 "Chills" (JayTim)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for food poisoning, vomiting, mentions of other bodily fluids/excretions, and infectious illness in general. Read with care, my friends <3

“Hey! You alive in here?” Tim calls as he enters Jason’s safehouse, carefully balancing a shopping bag of ‘goodies’ on his hip and ducking low to avoid snagging his backpack on the frame as he steps through the window.

A bedraggled head sticks out of the bathroom doorway at half the height one would expect. “Tim? You shouldn’t be here,” Jason croaks, hauling himself to his feet with the support of the door frame. He looks awful, face pale, cheeks flushed, and dark circles under his eyes. It’s only been a day and a half since his symptoms appeared, including copious vomiting, but he already looks gaunt and hollowed out.

Tim ignores him, continues on into the little kitchen, and begins unloading his supplies onto the counter. He’s brought an arsenal of medical supplies: anti-nausea meds, antibiotics, fluids and electrolytes - both IV and oral - various disease test kits, portable diagnostic equipment, as well as broths and soups sent straight from Alfred along with saltine crackers, sports drinks, ginger teas, and ginger ale for when Jason’s appetite comes back. He loads the soup containers, drinks and antibiotics into the fridge, keeping his back turned even as he hears Jason shuffle into the kitchen.

“Let me rephrase that: you _can’t_ be here. I’m sick. I’ve got a fever and chills and I’ve been hurling my guts out of both ends all night and all day. It isn’t safe for you,” Jason tells him, hovering at the edge of the kitchen like he wants to step forward and shake Tim by the shoulders but knows he shouldn’t.

Tim turns and closes the distance between them in two quick steps, raising a thermometer to Jason’s temple while laying the back of his hand across his forehead. Jason startles a second too late.

“T-Tim! What are you doing?! Get away!” He tries to back up, but bumps into the wrap-around counter, knees buckling. Tim grips his forearm firmly to bolster him and follows diligently, holding the thermometer steady until he hears a beep.

“One hundred point nine,” Tim reads off, nodding sagely. “That’s not too bad. Overall, how are you feeling? Have you been able to keep down any fluids in the past twelve hours?” he asks as he pinches the skin of Jason’s forearm to perform the skin elasticity test for gauging dehydration. “Mmm, from that I’m going to say 'no’ or 'not enough’, huh?”

Jason swats away his hand wildly then leans back over the counter away from the other hand Tim lifts undeterred to pull down Jason’s lower eyelid in order to gauge the sunkenness of his eyes.

“Wha-wha-what are you doing?” Jason pants, eyes wild. “You can’t be here, I have the flu; you can’t touch me, I’m going to get you sick!”

Tim shakes his head, but takes a step back, making soothing motions with his hands. “It’s fine, Jason, I made sure to–”

“It’s not f-f-fine!” Jason hisses, teeth chattering with a full body shiver. “You could _die_, Spleen-less Wonder!”

Tim raises his eyebrows. “If you would stop running away from me for five minutes, or stop to answer my calls then you’d–”

“I w-was ru-ru-running to protect you!”

Five minutes after his first episode of vomiting, Jason had run out of Tim’s apartment like the building was on fire, and then proceeded to lead Tim on a very bizarre game of tag through_ five separate safehouses_ over the past day and a half. Tim had been half convinced their wild chase would end with him finding Jason passed out in the street, or on some rooftop, between one place and the next. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry or tear his hair out over the whole thing. Probably all of the above. 

“I th-th-thought you’d given up by now!”

No, he hadn’t given up, but Tim also hadn’t wanted to find Jason passed out in the street somewhere, so he had given Jason space and watched from a distance while he gathered evidence and ran tests. 

He reaches into his back pocket, unfolds a Batcomputer print-out and shoves it into Jason’s face. Jason frowns as he leans in to read the fine print.

“These are the results of comprehensive pathogen testing on a sample of stool and a sample of the foods we consumed the other night,” Tim explains to him. “The tests are conclusive: you have food poisoning, not the flu. The food you ate and your stool both test positive for salmonella.”

Jason blinks and his eyes dart to Tim with a flash of worry. “But… but you’re okay? You didn’t eat any of the contaminated foods?”

Tim smiles warmly at Jason for his concern and shakes his head. “No. Alfred and I are pretty sure it was contained to the sausage on your pizza. We didn’t find salmonella in anything else and I didn’t eat any of yours, only my own.”

“Oh, thank fuck,” Jason sighs in relief, sagging back into the counter. “Wait,” he freezes, pinning Tim with an odd look, “Did you say stool? How the hell did you get a sample of my shit! When?!”

Tim snorts. “I mean, you did leave an incredible wake of contamination in your path as you fled from place to place.” Jason glares and Tim shrugs. “You, uh, forgot to flush the toilet at your second stop. I collected it there.”

Jason narrows his eyes. “Even if this is food poisoning, you still have to be careful collecting food samples, touching me, touching my shit–literal and figurative… Jeez, if you get a salmonella infection, that could fuck you up for the long term, Babybird.”

Tim nods. “I know. I brought gloves, disinfectant, and plenty of hand soap. I plan to be careful. Alfred will never let me hear the end of it if I’m not.”

Jason doesn’t look happy about it, but he nods his acceptance, trembling as another chill wracks his body with violent shivers. Tim’s brow crinkles in concern. He turns to scoop up some of his supplies then steers Jason toward the couch with a light touch on his elbow.

“Why don’t you go get settled on the couch while I prep some fluids for you. I’m guessing you haven’t been holding much down–or in–for more than a few minutes at a time?”

“Try not at all,” Jason croaks as he subconsciously pulls his elbow away and shuffles to the couch on his own.

Tim grimaces in sympathy. “The diarrhea hasn’t let up either?”

“Nope.”

“Has there been any blood in your stool?”

Jason makes a face. “No,” he gasps, gagging slightly. “Ugh. Can you grab me a bucket or something while you’re at it?”

“On it.”

Tim brings Jason his sick pail, then proceeds to take more vitals and pulls a blood sample to send along to Alfred. Jason suffers through it with as much grace as he can summon between breaks to gag and retch into his bucket.

“The last thing we need is for the infection to get into your blood, so I brought antibiotics along just in case,” Tim tells him.

“The last thing we need is for the infection to get into _your_ blood!” Jason shoots back hoarsely as he comes up from another round of vomiting.

“Don’t worry, besides taking sanitary precautions, Alfred started me on a course of preventative antibiotics, just in case I _did_ ingest contaminated material and haven’t begun showing symptoms,” Tim reassures as he begins prepping Jason’s forearm for the IV.

“Wha-what if you get sick? What am I supposed to do then?”

“Alfred will be by shortly to pick up the blood sample and check up on us, and if at any point I start to show symptoms, you or I are supposed to call Leslie immediately. The alternative is for you to return with me to the Manor.” Tim wrinkles his nose to say what he thinks of that alternative.

“Nope. Here s-sounds g-g-good,” Jason replies, teeth still chattering. Tim finishes inserting the catheter, starts up the fluids, tapes and then wraps the IV site.

“Okay, that should be good to go for a while. We’ll know in a few hours if you’ll need the IV antibiotics. For now…” he trails off, taking in the small, nearly empty safehouse and then the shivering form of one miserable Jason Todd. “How about we cuddle up on the couch and binge some Netflix?”

“I don’t have a TV.”

Tim smirks. “Do you think I go anywhere without my laptop and an unlimited 4G data plan?”

He sets up his laptop on a tray table in front of the couch and retrieves several clean blankets from the hall closet. He drapes two of the blankets across Jason’s shoulders, which he accepts with a murmur of appreciation, then seats himself beside Jason and spreads another across their laps. He cuddles up to Jason and attempts to wrap an arm around him, his shorter stature be damned.

“Wh-wh-what are you doing?” Jason stutters, leaning away with a comically alarmed expression.

“You’ve got the chills, so I brought you some blankets and I’m snuggling you?”

"No, why are you practically on top of me! What if I throw up on you?” Jason wails, attempting to push away. Tim pulls him close and hands him the sick pail.

“You’re a crack shot, Jay, so I trust that you won’t miss at point blank,” he teases.

Jason glares balefully, but gives up trying to pull free. “You’re still gonna get sick…” he grumbles.

“I doubt it, but if that’s a risk I have to take to snuggle you, then I’ll take it.”

Jason sags into him and grumbles under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I _said_ you’re an idiot with a d-d-death wish,” Jason growls between shivers.

Tim chuckles and squeezes his shoulder. “Whoa, there, Jay, I think you need to _chill_ out.”

_“Tim.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is new oneshot, crossposted on tumblr, for my 2019 Spooktober event. (Based on an event originally run by [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) as part of their Write 365 challenge in 2018).
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/188356819797/14-chills). Thanks for reading!


	7. Spooktober Day 22 "Full Moon" (JayDick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, everyone! I got completely sidetracked into another big writing project near the end of October - one that pretty much absorbed all my free time and attention for the better part of a month (is unintentionally participating in nanowrimo a thing?) - that I completely forgot to crosspost this to Ao3 >_< My bad. Please enjoy some Halloween (not really) spirit with your American Thanksgiving leftovers ;)

Dick likes to hang out around the apartment naked. Completely naked. As in bum bare to the world, everything hanging out… Yeah.

Jason knows this about his boyfriend because Dick has mentioned it, offhandedly, once or twice, but he has never seen it, because as much as Dick apparently prefers to spend his free time alone in the buff, he is strangely shy about going nude around anyone else. Instead of leaving it alone, now Jason is obsessed with catching him in the act.

That’s not to say Jason hasn’t seen the older man naked–they have a very healthy sex life, fuck you very much–but there is something drastically different between seeing your partner stripped bare in the dim light of your bedroom and catching your partner in the act of eating fruit loops in their birthday suit, sitting on the kitchen counter, their namesake at half staff.

(Babs swears she walked in on Dick doing exactly that once, long ago, and Jason knows better than to doubt her).

In the end, it takes careful planning and even more careful execution to finally catch a glimpse. Dick can be a tricky, slippery bastard when he wants to be, always darting out of sight at the slightest sound and keeping one eye on the external camera feeds like the automatic notification system they have in place shouldn’t be enough warning.

Jason takes his time. Finds a blind spot in the cameras. Takes advantage of the fact that Dick intentionally loops the internal cameras when he lets it all hang out. Uses every damn ninja skill the League and Batman taught him just to catch Dick standing in front of the fridge, humming some cheery tune, wiggling his bare ass slightly to the beat.

“What a fine, full moon that rose in our kitchen this afternoon, huh? Fullest moon I reckon I’ve ever seen. So pretty it puts the one in the sky to shame,” Jason calls, stepping into the kitchen.

Dick, for all his training, jumps a half a foot in the air and tries for the best of him to hide behind the fridge door.

“J-Jay! When did you get back?” Dick stutters, tawny cheeks darkening. Jason imagines his other cheeks would turn a pretty shade of red, too, given the right circumstances. Like a pretty little peach; he wants to take a bite out of _that _fruit.

“Whatcha doin’, Dickie?” Jason asks casually, gesturing to the open fridge.

“I was just… a snack… hold on, lemme go grab some pants,” Dick replies distractedly, his eyes flitting to the doorway. He makes an aborted attempt to dart out from behind the fridge door, but Jason easily foils that by stepping back into the doorway, effectively blocking all escape. That is, unless Dick wants to try squeezing through the half window above the sink with balls aswinging; he is welcome to try - Jason would enjoy the show.

“If you’re done mooning the eggs, do you mind if I grab a beer?” Jason tries. He advances, keeping himself between Dick and the doorway, and lays a hand on the fridge door. He begins to pull it toward him, but Dick squeaks - that grown-ass slab of muscle fucking _squeaks_ \- and grabs it back, rattling the jars and bottles in the racks. Jason raises an eyebrow.

“Jay, come on, turn around and let me go grab some pants, okay?”

Jason drops the casual act and rolls his eyes. “What’s the big deal? I’ve seen you naked. You certainly don’t seem to mind lounging about the place naked when I’m not around, my sources say,–”

“What sources!? Who–?”

“–and you’ve never been shy about the skimpy as fuck leotards or the short shorts you wear around the gym with nary a shirt in sight,” Jason finishes dryly, ignoring the interruption.

“You know I don’t like to be naked if other people around me are wearing clothes”–this is true, Dick has always insisted either they both keep or both lose their clothes in the bedroom–“There’s just something about it that makes me really uncomfortable,” Dick explains, his expression going serious.

“Well, I mean, if that’s really all it is…” Jason trails off contemplatively. He’s not blowing off Dick’s feelings–that reasoning actually makes a lot of sense to him–but if that’s been the only reason he hasn’t had the opportunity to enjoy brunches in the buff with his boyfriend, then they’ve been seriously missing out.

Dick’s jaw opens to speak then drops when Jason abruptly pulls off his shirt and throws it aside. “That,” Jason tells him as he reaches for his belt, “is something I can fix.” Dick licks his lips as Jason shucks off his pants and nudges them aside. Jason laughs. “See something you like?”

“Uhh, _yeah_, I think I do,” Dick retorts after a moment, shooting Jason an anticipatory smirk. Jason takes his time with his boxer briefs, making a show of running his thumbs under the waist band before slowly easing them over his hips, flaring his rear so Dick could watch them glide down over his own modest ass and pausing for dramatic effect before flipping the fabric off his cock and sack. Dick shakes his head, but steps out from behind the door and slips his arms around Jason’s waist. Jason’s arms encircle him as he leans in to kiss Jason.

“I dunno what I did to deserve a show like that,” he murmurs against Jason’s lips, his own quirking up into a smile.

Jason snorts softly. “Bein’ you’s enough, Babe, but that little show of hummin’ and wigglin’ your hips earlier didn’t hurt, either,” he teases affectionately.

Dick groans and lowers his head onto Jason’s shoulder. “You saw that?”

“Mmhm,” Jason answers, pressing close and leading Dick into a gentle sway from side to side. “Put me in the mood to dance too.”

“And by dance, you really mean sex,” Dick deadpans. Jason leans his head back and laughs outright.

“I mean, yeah, sex’d be great,” he admits, “but after that it’d be nice just to hang out on the couch, order in, binge some _Downton Abbey_…”

“Naked?” Dick clarifies, his expression skeptical.

Jason grins and kisses him again. “Yep, with nothin’ but skin between us, baby,” he whispers dramatically. The moment breaks and Dick bursts out laughing.

“O-oh man, Jay. No. That was awful. You’re so bad at being romantic!” he laughs, slumping into Jason’s embrace, his cheeks now red with mirth.

“Hey! I’m plenty sexy!” Jason defends, a smile breaking out in spite of himself. He’d been starting to think that he’d never get Dick to relax again.

“Sexy? Yeah. Romantic? Well…” Dick begins, dropping his gaze. He blinks, then laughs. “Look. You forgot your socks. Oops.”

Jason looks down. “Huh. So I did.” He smirks. “How about you come help me out of them?” he asks, turning on the smolder and throwing in an eyebrow waggle just because.

Dick howls. “Oh-oh my–oh my god, Jason, that’s not romantic _or_ sexy. It’s supposed to be your pants. Your underwear. There’s nothing sexy about stripping off your sweaty socks.”

“I dunno, you could have a foot fetish.”

“Yeah, but I don’t.”

“Oh well, you love it anyway,” Jason retorts, pressing a quick kiss to Dick’s nose, that makes the older man snort.

“Yeah, I love _you_, you overgrown dork.”

“Takes one to know one, Love.”

“Shut up and kiss m–”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first time writing JayDick (DickJay?) and I specifically chose to write this ship for this prompt in order to challenge myself, but I was pleased to find afterwards that not only did writing the ship go easier than I expected, I thoroughly enjoyed writing it! Maybe I'll wander into this ship more in the future (...with the right prompts ;3).
> 
> I also felt I _had_ to center this prompt around Dick because "full moon"->"mooning"->Dick's famous ass-> _how I could not?_ I'm a sucker for punny interpretations of a prompt or awful (wonderful) punny one-liners. (I hope Dick would be proud XD).
> 
> This is new oneshot, crossposted on tumblr, for my 2019 Spooktober event. (Based on an event originally run by [@sociallyawkwardfoxwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox) as part of their Write 365 challenge in 2018).
> 
> My DCU tumblr sideblog is [redrobinfection](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/). Read, reblog and like this work on tumblr [here](https://redrobinfection.tumblr.com/post/188509584352/22-full-moon). Thanks for reading!


End file.
